Adam Speaks to God


[Photo Credit]

Adam Speaks to God
by Bored in Vernal

I asked God if it was okay to bake eclairs,
And he nodded his head as he
Brushed some crumbs from his beard.

I asked God if a guy could sing opera.
He said he didn’t really
Think it was too weird.

But God, I said (because sometimes I have to ask twice),
What if I paint my fingernails?
Is that too queer?

Or hold hands with Steve?
Where everyone can see
(His answer I feared).

But God said, dude (he calls me that, sometimes),
As we sat down in time for Glee,
Just watch the show
(and bring me a beer).

[Note: This poem has been revised, with the permission of the author, by BD Beal.  The original poem can be found here:]

About the author

Brent D. Beal is an associate professor of management in the College of Business and Technology at the University of Texas at Tyler. In his spare time, he enjoys debating religious and political issues, reading and writing short stories, playing Scrabble, and hanging out with his wife and their three kids.


  1. Matt Thurston says:

    Cheryl’s and Brent’s God is very similar to Levi Peterson’s “Cowboy Jesus.”

  2. BD Beal says:

    Backslider, right? I’m going to have to read it.

  3. Changed it up some, but still good.

  4. Bitherwack says:

    Bored in Vernal, I loved this version…. !

    I decided to check the one posted on “Wheat & Tares” and found the
    holding Dentist’s hand line distracting. (during treatment? because it hurts?)
    W&T version wasn’t clearly a romantic relationship between men. Whatever.
    Now it gradually dawns on one.

    Have to be culturally plugged in to know what glee is.

  5. Bitherwack says:

    “Adam Speaks With God” as a title might help affix that “I” as being Adam.
    It wasn’t until this 4th reading that it became clear I wasn’t ‘bringing the title to the poem’. The voice needs to be undeniably Adam’s right off for it to work. Otherwise, the gender ambiguity isn’t part of the point of the poem; it reads as the poet’s voice (and I find myself looking for a byline and finding it gender neutral.)

  6. BD Beal says:

    Good suggestion. I took you up on it.


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